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teamlinks~
All told, it had been a pretty good night.
Dreamscape nonsense aside, things had gone pretty much the way they always did. Alex had gone to the library, finished on his homework (while listening to the rest of the "team" with half an ear), gotten dinner at the cafe, then headed to the radio station where he'd crashed on a couch in a back room for a few hours. Around 11, he'd gotten up and gone to get more coffee, then helped Chisomo and the new radio tech, a freshman girl he didn't know, get everything set up for the rest of the night. Most of Alex's time was spent organizing the playlists for both his own show and the 2:00 - 5:00 a.m. show, a compilation of the most popular student requests combined with submissions from up-and-coming singers and local bands that he and a few other radio station employees had vetted and approved.
Before he knew it, it was midnight, and he was On The Air.
It was his favourite time of any day or night, that two-hour stretch of time when he settled into his chair and slipped on the radio station's headphones and leaned into the mic to say, "Hi, this is Alex Ace of the Carrington University Radio Station. The time is 12:00 midnight, so let's get this bird off the ground."
It had been a joke, originally, his sarcastic way of pretending to be a pilot, but Connor had liked it (so had Chisomo, but Alex got the feeling that she only liked it because she enjoyed the idea of him having to say something so stupid every time he came on-air), and one way or another, it had become his catchphrase. Alex didn't let it get to him; it was a small price to pay for having free rein in the studio for two hours, and it was hardly the stupidest thing that anyone listening in would hear that night. The profusion of callers asking for life and love advice--and especially the morons who periodically tried to one-up the infamous snark-king of late-night radio--always made certain of that.
The calls had been good ones for the most part; he'd roasted a guy who tried the age-old prank call (please, as if he hadn't heard them all already), lambasted a girl who was jealous of her younger sister's popularity, set a fellow senior straight about the best way to tell his roommate that he didn't want to hang out with him because he had to study, and more.
The most unusual call had been an elderly lady with an epically bad mis-dial, who thought she was calling her grandson. For that one, Alex had initially turned a flat glare through the window into the control booth, because didn't the new tech know how to screen calls, but Chisomo just smiled and gave him an uncaring oh well, nothing you can't handle, right? shrug and wave of her hand...so he'd decided to handle it, all right. They'd had a pleasant 10-minute chat about the old woman's prize-winning begonias and the difficulty of adapting to new technology once you reached a certain age, during which Alex had been the soul of charm and civility. It finally ended when Chisomo gave him an annoyed cut her off already gesture from the booth, with the old woman promising to send him a hand-knitted scarf, care of the radio station.
Compared to that, the routine call or two where he made some idiot freshman cry over how stupid they were being about their crush had been almost tedious. It seemed that, as the saying went, common sense wasn't really all that common. He'd take a dozen calls from the begonia lady any day over ohmigosh I like him soooo much but what if he doesn't like me back and p.s. I don't even know his name but I am still like totally sure we are MEANT TO BE, omg tell me what to do about this, Alex! There were only so many ways to say, well, you could start by TALKING TO HIM, after all.
While his shift on-air officially ended at 2:00 a.m., he generally stayed around until nearly 3:30 a.m., adding interesting new requests into the playlist and occasionally turning on the mic to drop a comment about some of the submissions from any student performers who'd been daring enough to send in a demo track. He could be a harsh critic, but he was fair-minded, and he was free with compliments when the band or singer honestly deserved them.
Between schoolwork and all his radio station responsibilities, Alex hadn't had much time to think about things that had happened earlier in the day; namely, the altercation with Gwen, and to a lesser extent, Hakka. It wasn't until he was packing up to go home that it really came to mind at all.
"I'M sorry, you don't GET to be smug when you put your ego above all of our safety! You don't EVER. DO THAT. AGAIN."
Alex shook his head as he slung his messenger bag across his chest and headed down the hall, giving an offhanded farewell wave to Chisomo and the new tech. It hadn't been about his ego, and he'd said as much, but Gwendolyn had refused to listen.
"This is ABSOLUTELY about your ego! There were ways to have that conversation and other ways if you're so damn dead-set on getting rid of this stuff that you could've done it without antagonizing something and putting us all at risk! THIS. WAS. YOUR. EGO and it does NOT happen again! Am I clear?"
It was far from the first time someone had gotten in his face for something he'd said, and Alex knew it wouldn't be the last. He'd hardly so much as blinked, totally unruffled by her obvious agitation.
"I'm sorry, I thought we were here to make a difference."
"You can make a difference without trying to make yourself RIGHT all the time! Can you not handle that? Can you--not handle that sometimes maybe your way isn't the best way?"
Right. Clearly the "best way" was to go along with Rory's Dreamscape and just plant the drugs and cameras. That was totally the right thing to do. Just because it was a dream didn't mean it wasn't real, at least in certain ways or to a certain extent. Then again, that had been what Caleb had told them after they'd gotten out, that it was probably wise to go with the flow so as not to arouse the dreamer's subconscious suspicion, then to settle things once and for all later, a surprise attack.
It made sense, Alex reasoned, though it still seemed like the wrong way to go about trying to change someone's way of thinking by subtle measures. But if everyone wants to run headlong into a brick wall or off a cliff, who am I to stop them? They could all do whatever the hell they wanted, it didn't matter to him one way or the other. Contract or no contract, he didn't owe them or anyone else anything, just like they didn't owe him anything either.
They were all simple victims of circumstance, that was all. Not a team. Certainly not friends.
Absently, he pushed through the radio station's front door and stepped out into the crisp night air, pausing for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the lower level of light, leaving his headphones hanging around his neck and letting the near-silence of the campus at night wash over him instead of his usual music.
It didn't matter if Gwendolyn and the rest of them listened to him or not, he decided. He'd stopped caring what anyone else thought about him years ago. If she really wanted to make good on her (not quite) threat and have that "later" conversation, then she'd have to find him herself.
[TL;DR "HOLD ON, LET ME ROLL TO SEE IF I CARE"
...
"...OKAY, I DON'T CARE"]
All told, it had been a pretty good night.
Dreamscape nonsense aside, things had gone pretty much the way they always did. Alex had gone to the library, finished on his homework (while listening to the rest of the "team" with half an ear), gotten dinner at the cafe, then headed to the radio station where he'd crashed on a couch in a back room for a few hours. Around 11, he'd gotten up and gone to get more coffee, then helped Chisomo and the new radio tech, a freshman girl he didn't know, get everything set up for the rest of the night. Most of Alex's time was spent organizing the playlists for both his own show and the 2:00 - 5:00 a.m. show, a compilation of the most popular student requests combined with submissions from up-and-coming singers and local bands that he and a few other radio station employees had vetted and approved.
Before he knew it, it was midnight, and he was On The Air.
It was his favourite time of any day or night, that two-hour stretch of time when he settled into his chair and slipped on the radio station's headphones and leaned into the mic to say, "Hi, this is Alex Ace of the Carrington University Radio Station. The time is 12:00 midnight, so let's get this bird off the ground."
It had been a joke, originally, his sarcastic way of pretending to be a pilot, but Connor had liked it (so had Chisomo, but Alex got the feeling that she only liked it because she enjoyed the idea of him having to say something so stupid every time he came on-air), and one way or another, it had become his catchphrase. Alex didn't let it get to him; it was a small price to pay for having free rein in the studio for two hours, and it was hardly the stupidest thing that anyone listening in would hear that night. The profusion of callers asking for life and love advice--and especially the morons who periodically tried to one-up the infamous snark-king of late-night radio--always made certain of that.
The calls had been good ones for the most part; he'd roasted a guy who tried the age-old prank call (please, as if he hadn't heard them all already), lambasted a girl who was jealous of her younger sister's popularity, set a fellow senior straight about the best way to tell his roommate that he didn't want to hang out with him because he had to study, and more.
The most unusual call had been an elderly lady with an epically bad mis-dial, who thought she was calling her grandson. For that one, Alex had initially turned a flat glare through the window into the control booth, because didn't the new tech know how to screen calls, but Chisomo just smiled and gave him an uncaring oh well, nothing you can't handle, right? shrug and wave of her hand...so he'd decided to handle it, all right. They'd had a pleasant 10-minute chat about the old woman's prize-winning begonias and the difficulty of adapting to new technology once you reached a certain age, during which Alex had been the soul of charm and civility. It finally ended when Chisomo gave him an annoyed cut her off already gesture from the booth, with the old woman promising to send him a hand-knitted scarf, care of the radio station.
Compared to that, the routine call or two where he made some idiot freshman cry over how stupid they were being about their crush had been almost tedious. It seemed that, as the saying went, common sense wasn't really all that common. He'd take a dozen calls from the begonia lady any day over ohmigosh I like him soooo much but what if he doesn't like me back and p.s. I don't even know his name but I am still like totally sure we are MEANT TO BE, omg tell me what to do about this, Alex! There were only so many ways to say, well, you could start by TALKING TO HIM, after all.
While his shift on-air officially ended at 2:00 a.m., he generally stayed around until nearly 3:30 a.m., adding interesting new requests into the playlist and occasionally turning on the mic to drop a comment about some of the submissions from any student performers who'd been daring enough to send in a demo track. He could be a harsh critic, but he was fair-minded, and he was free with compliments when the band or singer honestly deserved them.
Between schoolwork and all his radio station responsibilities, Alex hadn't had much time to think about things that had happened earlier in the day; namely, the altercation with Gwen, and to a lesser extent, Hakka. It wasn't until he was packing up to go home that it really came to mind at all.
"I'M sorry, you don't GET to be smug when you put your ego above all of our safety! You don't EVER. DO THAT. AGAIN."
Alex shook his head as he slung his messenger bag across his chest and headed down the hall, giving an offhanded farewell wave to Chisomo and the new tech. It hadn't been about his ego, and he'd said as much, but Gwendolyn had refused to listen.
"This is ABSOLUTELY about your ego! There were ways to have that conversation and other ways if you're so damn dead-set on getting rid of this stuff that you could've done it without antagonizing something and putting us all at risk! THIS. WAS. YOUR. EGO and it does NOT happen again! Am I clear?"
It was far from the first time someone had gotten in his face for something he'd said, and Alex knew it wouldn't be the last. He'd hardly so much as blinked, totally unruffled by her obvious agitation.
"I'm sorry, I thought we were here to make a difference."
"You can make a difference without trying to make yourself RIGHT all the time! Can you not handle that? Can you--not handle that sometimes maybe your way isn't the best way?"
Right. Clearly the "best way" was to go along with Rory's Dreamscape and just plant the drugs and cameras. That was totally the right thing to do. Just because it was a dream didn't mean it wasn't real, at least in certain ways or to a certain extent. Then again, that had been what Caleb had told them after they'd gotten out, that it was probably wise to go with the flow so as not to arouse the dreamer's subconscious suspicion, then to settle things once and for all later, a surprise attack.
It made sense, Alex reasoned, though it still seemed like the wrong way to go about trying to change someone's way of thinking by subtle measures. But if everyone wants to run headlong into a brick wall or off a cliff, who am I to stop them? They could all do whatever the hell they wanted, it didn't matter to him one way or the other. Contract or no contract, he didn't owe them or anyone else anything, just like they didn't owe him anything either.
They were all simple victims of circumstance, that was all. Not a team. Certainly not friends.
Absently, he pushed through the radio station's front door and stepped out into the crisp night air, pausing for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the lower level of light, leaving his headphones hanging around his neck and letting the near-silence of the campus at night wash over him instead of his usual music.
It didn't matter if Gwendolyn and the rest of them listened to him or not, he decided. He'd stopped caring what anyone else thought about him years ago. If she really wanted to make good on her (not quite) threat and have that "later" conversation, then she'd have to find him herself.
[
...
"...OKAY, I DON'T CARE"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 02:19 am (UTC)And all the while, much to her surprise, she hadn't turned off her radio or shattered her fancy Bluetooth helmet in disgust. At first, it was out of necessity - she had been driving by the time she realized what radio station she was listening to, and doing anything then would've been irresponsible to say the least. But as she listened, unwillingly, to Alex go on... well, it helped her remember a few things.
First - and most painfully - she remembered that Alex was usually right. It was a bitter pill to swallow that particular night, but that was the fact of it. Far more often than not, she agreed with the advice he doled out. He could be caustic and he could be cruel, but... he rarely went further than he really needed to.
Second, she remembered the kind of attitude he dealt with for a living. As much as she might want to punch the smirk off that pretty boy face of his, she wouldn't get anywhere with that approach. And honestly, she had already known deep down that it was the wrong way to go. It'd feel wonderful and it'd be satisfying and she still wasn't ruling it out for a later date, but... no. Fists were out.
She wasn't sure when she pulled up to the radio station - probably somewhere a little after two - but she was fairly confident he'd still be there. He tended to comment on the first bit of the request and submission show - something she was personally familiar with - and she didn't have anywhere to be yet, so she was willing to wait. Her jacket unzipped, she enjoyed the cool night air and tried her best to ignore the emotional hurricane still raging in her gut as she leaned against the wall.
She was almost ready to quit by the time he came out, and for a moment wished she had. Was... was she really ready for this? Swallowing hard, she put her hand to her mouth and let out a sharp whistle to get his attention. She tossed him two things, waiting for him to catch the first before throwing the second.
The first, a small energy drink - one of those shot ones that would be a good short burst of energy. She'd long since downed her own.
The second, her spare motorcycle helmet - the message of which she hoped was obvious as she hopped onto her nearby moped.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 03:30 am (UTC)...Well then. "Later" was a lot sooner than he'd expected.
He caught the energy drink easily, snatching it out of the air on reflex, though it was a little harder to catch the helmet with one hand already occupied. He managed to trap it against his midriff, and was glad that she hadn't thrown it with more force behind it, an easy lob rather than a hard pass.
He wasn't certain he'd need the energy drink--he was tired, sure, but that was normal. He was also still a little wired from his time on the air tonight, and he did want to sleep once he got home. Guess it depends on how long this is gonna take...
"...Really?" He looked up from the helmet in his hands, raising an eyebrow at the other Persona user. "I mean, I guess that technically this is 'later'--it'd be hard to get any later. But you want to talk about this now?"
He hadn't moved from where he stood just outside the radio station, the heels of his boots still clipping the edge of the golden panel of light cast through the glass door and onto the sidewalk.
"Do you actually have anything else to say, or do you just want to give me another dressing-down? Because you're about an hour and half too late to call in if that's all you wanna do."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 04:04 am (UTC)"If all I wanted was to feel better," she managed, willing her jaw to unclench, "I'd have probably just punched you and drove away. It would've worked well enough. Now come on." She gestured to the spot behind her with her head before starting her bike, the veteran engine sputtering to life, her headlight doing its best to illuminate the area.
"I'll drive you home after we're done, if that's what you're worried about."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 04:25 am (UTC)She did seem to have something on her mind, though, and the offer of a ride home wasn't completely unwelcome. When he couldn't borrow his dad's car, Alex usually took the subway, but he was a little later than usual tonight, which meant taking the bus, and that was never great.
Who knows, considering the bus schedule, I'll probably get home faster this way.
And so, with a shrug rife with whatever, you win I guess, he pulled on the helmet and climbed onto the back of her bike.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 09:12 pm (UTC)It wasn't a terribly long trip that she had in mind - honestly, there were probably better choices of destination, but it was late and she didn't exactly have time to do any research. After a few turns and very few chances to even approach her scooter's top speed, they found themselves pulling up to the school's giant fountain. 'The Reflection Pond', they called it. Gwen pulled up relatively close before kicking down her stand and shutting down her bike. Normally she'd never drive this close up, but who the heck was going to yell at her at three in the morning?
Hanging her helmet off of a handlebar (it'd be in sight and close enough for her to run down any idiot who tried to run off with it, and again, three in the morning), she quietly trudged over to a spot in the grass and took a seat, figuring Alex would be smart enough to do the same. Only a few of the lights along the walkways were working, but it was enough for her to see where she was walking without fear of catching her foot on an errant root, and honestly, it made for a nice atmosphere. If she were there with literally anyone else, it might even qualify as romantic.
Casting a glance over at Alex, she fought back a grin. No, there certainly wasn't any danger of romance with him around. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. No, the danger would be in not saying anything she'd regret later, and in not killing herself trying to figure out where to start. Finally, she managed a few words.
"... thank you. For being willing to listen."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 09:53 pm (UTC)The idea of this place being romantic under the right circumstances didn't even cross his mind; he simply copied Gwendolyn's movements, though he set the spare helmet on the bike's seat instead of hanging it off the other handlebar, following after the other Persona user and settling onto the grass a few feet away, on the outer edge of arm's-length distance. He stayed quiet, waiting for her to say...whatever it was she'd decided was important enough to find him at three in the morning. When she didn't start talking right away, he closed his eyes and leaned back on his hands, listening to the soothing, steady sound of the fountain and the distant hum of traffic and an old air conditioner behind a nearby building.
That slow, deep breath told him that Gwendolyn was going to speak at last, so he opened his eyes and turned his head her way.
"I guess at least one of us has to be," he said in reply, the exact kind of smartass knee-jerk response he gave on-air, though the words were flat and nonchalant, more of a statement than any sort of accusation. But it's true, she didn't listen to me back in the Dreamscape. She had to be 'right', too...
Still, true or not, he knew it was the 'wrong' thing to say...he just couldn't be bothered to censor himself any more at this hour of night. She'd wanted to talk to him; she'd pulled him aside. She shouldn't have expected anything different.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 10:02 pm (UTC)"... that's fine. I deserved that. I stand by the point I was trying to make, but I was an ass about it and didn't let you defend yourself properly, and... I apologize for that." It was hard to say, but it was a truth she had realized throughout the night. As certain as she was about what she felt, it wasn't as though she gave him a chance for any real conversation.
"So yeah, if you need to dress me down for that, get it out of your system. I'll take it."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 10:14 pm (UTC)"Sounds like you've already done a good enough job of that. I don't think I have anything I need to add."
...Sometimes it was better not to engage. For several reasons, but mostly because it frustrated the hell out of people, and that could make for good radio. In this case, though...well, it might frustrate her, but she was already pretty frustrated as it was; really, he just didn't want to. She had already said it all, anyway.
With a sigh, he leaned back onto his elbows, his eyes finding the dark, inky sky. There were still too many city lights for many stars to be visible, but it was habit; he couldn't help looking.
"So, you're glad I'm willing to listen to you, you're sorry for not listening to me...what else? I doubt you actually wanted to thank me, or apologize to me, so what's this really all about?"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-20 02:01 pm (UTC)No, the problem was that she knew where she wanted to get, but when it came to Alex, she had no earthly idea how to even start to get there. Should she just speak her mind and make herself vulnerable? Maybe, but she couldn’t help the feeling she’d just get metaphorically stabbed for it. Being aggressive was useless, being sarcastic was useless – and there she was again, just going in circles in her head over and over and over, culminating in a frustrated grunt and a response that came out with more passion than she intended.
“Uuuugh! I don’t know how to deal with you! Half the time I really respect you, half of the time I really want to punch you, and if our lives are going to depend on each other, I don’t think that’s good enough!” She punched the ground in frustration, certain she was wasting the opportunity to maybe have an actual conversation with him, but unsure where to go. What was she going to do, ask him to change so her life would be slightly more convenient? That was idiotic by any standard, and he’d be sure to tell her so.
“Maybe…” Her voice was softer now, frustration having given way to that twisting but hollow feeling that often followed it.
“Maybe I just want to understand you a little more. That’s what this is about.”
no subject
Date: 2017-11-20 06:56 pm (UTC)As he'd said he would, he listened to what she had to say, his eyes still fixed on the sky's dark dome arching overhead. He was silent for a few moments after she'd finished, weighing his response, letting it all process.
"...If I didn't know any better," he said at last, turning a blank, unreadable look Gwendolyn's way, "I'd think this was some sort of friendship speech."
He didn't know any better, really, though he did know her motivation for seeking him out now: because our lives are going to depend on each other. A worthwhile reason, if not exactly warm and fuzzy, but Alex didn't expect or particularly want for it to be. Wanting them all to work as a team made sense. They didn't have to like each other, but if they were going to be stuck doing this kind of thing for a while (and it certainly looked like they would), working well together was pretty important.
Might as well grease the wheels a little, he told himself, studying Gwendolyn for another moment, trying to interpret that softer tone. It was probably just her being tired of dealing with him, but he couldn't be completely sure--she had said that she respected him to an extent, and in a previous conversation she'd mentioned how talented she thought he was, which muddled the issue somewhat. If he had to guess, using his years of interpreting emotions over the radio, Alex would assume that she wasn't entirely sure how she felt either, other than (obviously) frustrated with him and the whole situation and probably herself as well.
"...All right then," he sighed, lying back on the grass and only just resisting the urge to drop an arm over his face. "A 3:30 a.m. heart-to-heart it is. What exactly do you want me to tell you?"
It was hard to resist adding something sarcastic like, I'm an Aquarius, blood type A+, not really a dog person OR a cat person, and while I'm definitely not looking for love, I will admit that...yes, I *do* like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, but he doubted Gwendolyn would be amused, and he had the common sense to know that he should probably at least make a semblance of playing nice if he wanted that ride home.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-23 01:20 am (UTC)Her verbal slip aside, he brought up a very important point - what did she want to know? It's not like she could just ask about his perfect Sunday or some nonsense, and the one question she DID want to ask - Why are you the way that you are? - was both impolite and impractical, no matter how badly she wanted to ask it.
Without anywhere else to start, she defaulted back to the one thing she actually knew about him.
"So... the radio thing. Hobby, or future career?"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-23 02:44 pm (UTC)She didn't get off quite as easy with his response to her question, though.
"Well, like my easily-accessible profile on the radio station's section of the publicly available college website says, I'm a communications major who's looking to enter the world of radio broadcasting on my graduation this coming spring."
Do your research was the undertone there, though Alex didn't know Gwendolyn well enough to know if she'd catch that--not because he thought she was dumb, but because she'd just said that she didn't understand him.
"As for whether or not it'll actually be my career...that depends a lot on luck, doesn't it."
And how does any of this help you understand me better, he was tempted to say, but didn't, because he knew that it would only work against him in the long run. Answering surface-level questions like this was no problem, a small price to pay for easing some of the tension in their little group, a faster ride home, and maybe not getting punched; needling her would only make her ask things that he might not be so eager to explain, that might not be anyone's business but his own, "teammate" or not.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-23 03:06 pm (UTC)Gwen rolled her eyes at the biography comment, but let it go. Nobody ever looked at those stupid things, and he surely knew that. It was just Alex being Alex - at least, that's what she wrote it off as. Hearing that he was serious about it as a career was interesting though, so she pressed further.
"Alright, cool. So why radio then?" That was the far better question. She was hardly an industry expert, but she knew enough to know that radio, while not a 'dying' industry, was certainly a dwindling one. It wasn't anything glamorous, and when had anyone heard of a rich radio host?
Finally, she was at something that might get her a look inside that head without all the messiness of actually cracking his head open.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-23 04:14 pm (UTC)What can it hurt, he told himself with an inward shrug. It's not like it's a secret. Plenty of people heard it all firsthand.
"...Honestly? It was kind of an accident. I met a guy who had a radio show at the campus station, and one night he pulled me on as a guest star for whatever reason--probably because he was hella annoying and loved to mess with people, and I was pretty quiet. But during that show..." Alex found himself smirking a bit at the memory even now. "...I guess you could say that I found my voice."
"It was a call-in request show, and some jackass had a woe-is-me sob story...and somehow, I just couldn't help it. I let him have it. And...people loved it. The station got a surprising number of calls and emails asking when I was getting my own show, way more response than usual, so Dr. de Forest, the communications professor in charge of the radio station, pulled me aside and asked if I wanted the late night time slot when it came open that spring."
Still lying on the ground, Alex gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I hadn't really decided what I wanted to do with my communications degree, but it seemed like a good opportunity to see some of what was out there. So I said yes."
Radio was also a good way to stay close to music, to mingle with important industry names and personas, and therefore was a possible platform for getting your own stuff out there...not that Alex had written anything that he particularly wanted to share. If he'd been hard on Gwendolyn's music, and he had, then he was ten times harder on his own. At least this way he could still be close to the thing he loved, even if he didn't think himself capable of contributing anything worthwhile to the field. But he'd already said enough, he figured, and Gwendolyn didn't need to hear all his reasons.
"It's a satisfying job," he said instead, "not the best hours, and it's a lot of work behind the scenes, but..." That smirk from before was back, and more toothy and lopsided than ever. "...I get paid to tell people why they suck, or what they should do to turn their lives around, sometimes both. Putting my psychology minor to good use and maybe even making a difference in someone's life, all without any need to see anyone in person, buy a couch, or filter myself."
He gave a low, somewhat villainous-sounding chuckle, angling a devious glance over at the other Persona user. "And...I can't say I don't enjoy the attention, or the infamy."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-26 10:49 pm (UTC)It wasn't like Gwen couldn't see the appeal in it, either. Being able to let loose with some of the things that she really thought about people was an attractive prospect, and certainly she couldn't deny that he'd told plenty of people what they needed to hear. Still, it couldn't be that simple, could it? There were two sides to every coin, and she couldn't shake the feeling she hadn't seen the other side yet. It was refreshing - albeit a bit terrifying - to see him look like he was actually enjoying something, but...
She turned her head towards him, meeting his glance with a look of concern. She wasn't expecting to get too much more from Alex, so she cut right to the most important question she could think of. "Does it ever backfire, though? Has someone ever tried to hurt you for what you said on air, or... you know, done something?"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-26 11:37 pm (UTC)"I've been doing this for almost two years now, and I tear into all sorts of people--but especially the stupid ones. Do you really think that none of them would have tried to hunt me down? And what's with that look--are you actually trying to pretend to be worried about me?"
The previous smirk had shifted into a full-on shit-eating grin as he said that, but then it faded a bit, going a little brittle, or perhaps just wry.
"It might be dangerous, sure, but it's nothing I can't handle. And yeah, I have been pushed around, or worse, for things that I've said on-air. But."
He met Gwendolyn's gaze straight on, deadly serious now, all traces of the former smirk gone.
"Sometimes, there are things that you know are the wrong things to say, but you still have to say them. Because you know the person needs to hear it, or because if you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Finally he did look away, pale eyes sliding sideways, not really focusing on anything other than breaking off their little impromptu staring contest.
"Sometimes," he added a second later, his voice soft but clear, as if speaking to himself or the few visible stars, "the black eye is worth it."
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Date: 2017-11-26 11:53 pm (UTC)But as admirable as it was, it was also sad, for multiple reasons. She was glad he chose to look away, and she followed suit, casting her gaze over the Reflecting Pool. Never one to be good at hiding her expressions, she was certain whatever expression on her face that resulted from her sadness, he wouldn't take it well. It was better to take a moment to collect herself, take a few deep breaths to prevent her voice from cracking.
"First, I don't know why someone would have to be 'pretending' to be worried about you. And second... well, I'm not surprised to hear that you can take it. If it were me though, I'd be less worried about something happening to me and more worried about a caller doing something stupid. Either to someone else, or..." Gwen trailed off, figuring her meaning was clear enough.
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Date: 2017-11-27 12:16 am (UTC)Alex rolled his eyes at that, pushing himself back upright, the better to turn a somewhat disbelieving look Gwendolyn's way.
"Come on, if you REALLY listen to my show much at all, you know I give out the suicide hotline number a fair amount, or tell the caller to talk to someone, or both. If they're really that delicate, they wouldn't be calling a college radio station. Only the attention-seekers do that, and just to pull the curtain back and let you see behind the scenes a little: I've taken plenty of those calls off the air and put on a commercial or a song or whatever instead while I talk to them, sound them out a little to see how serious they are."
He shook his head, attention absently wandering to the fountain. "Dr. de Forest went over all of that kind of stuff with me before I signed any paperwork, the liability and all that. I mean, something could still happen, sure, but...you can't spend all your time worrying about that kind of thing. Ultimately, everyone is responsible for their own actions. I might say something that's not so nice, but I'm still not the one pulling the trigger. If you try to blame everything you do on someone else, then you're just a coward, or stupid, or both."
A faint hint of the previous smirk returned, though Alex didn't turn his gaze away from the fountain.
"And really...by now, anyone who calls in to my show should know what they're in for."
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Date: 2017-11-27 12:26 am (UTC)Pushing those thoughts from her mind as best she could, she simply nodded. "Yeah... yeah, I guess you're right." There was no point to pushing the issue further. Instead, she stretched a bit, trying to rid herself of some of her fatigue. Maybe next time don't do this on a night you've had to work and fight for your life. Just an idea.
"I probably shouldn't keep you out any longer. You've been more than fair to come with me already. You ready to pack it in?"
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Date: 2017-11-27 12:37 am (UTC)"Oh? I don't get a turn to ask you about your life goals?" With a quiet snort, Alex rolled up onto his feet, picking up his messenger bag and slinging it back across his body before turning a small, cynical smile down at the other Persona-user. "Just kidding. I'm ready to go home now."
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Date: 2017-11-27 12:47 am (UTC)"I deliver pizza to play the bills, and have recurring nightmares about turning into Taylor Swift." Gwen handed over her spare helmet to Alex, pausing a moment before putting hers on.
"Anything else?"
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Date: 2017-11-27 01:02 am (UTC)He accepted the helmet without comment, just holding it for a moment, looking down at the smooth, curved surface without really seeing it or his wan reflection in it. He weighed his possible responses, then finally settled on one, looking up at Gwendolyn again.
"You're only stuck if you let yourself be. I might not have liked the song you submitted, but it was just one song, and I'm just one person. The rest of the radio station crew liked it, or it wouldn't have been played at all."
The muscles in his jaw clenched, as if Alex was fighting to get the words out--or keep them in: "No matter what I said back then, you do have...potential. I wouldn't have been so hard on you if you didn't."
And with that, he pulled the helmet on and flipped down the visor, effectively hiding his face. Conversation over, he said without saying.
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Date: 2017-11-27 01:16 am (UTC)This.
This was the part of him that was so infuriating and of course he'd let it out right at the end. These brief flashes of humanity, those moments of 'Hey, I can be a decent person were part of what made him impossible to deal with. She was so ready to categorize him as just a sincere, honest asshole, and he had to go and be good, even if only for a moment.
"... thank you," she managed.
Boys were just the worst sometimes. She could think about it later.
She slipped out her phone and opened her Maps app, giving it to him to put in his address while she slipped on her own helmet and took her place on the bike. She raised an eyebrow when she saw the address he gave. "One of my half and half houses," she commented to herself without much thought. The drive was uneventful enough - the traffic was never bad at 4 AM - and before she knew it, they were there.
"Hey... have a good night."
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Date: 2017-11-27 01:35 am (UTC)"Right. Thanks for the ride, I think."
With an offhanded wave, Alex turned and headed for the house, going inside without a backwards glance. He'd had more than enough of basically everyone in general and the "team" in particular, and it was past time for a shower and bed.